‘A mostly sunny day, to some, can look a lot like partly gray.’

November 12, 2006 at 12:45 pm Leave a comment

I took my last injection at 6:45 yesterday evening. Ovi*drel to trigger the 4! follicles this cycle created.

The rx was totally different from all the others I have done before. No Clo*mid or Letro*zol to stimulate my pituitary … straight injections of Pure*gon beginning on day 3. This protocol created four lovely follicles, two on the right and two on the left, and has our Re rather excited. He has spoken to us about the risk of a multiple pregnancy because the last two donor iui’s I had that resulted in pregnancy I had just one follicle. Like I said he is rather excited.

I on the otherhand go from being extremely optimistic to overly pessimistic. My rose coloured glasses tell me it will work, it has to work because the other cycles did. I want this to work so desperately but keep telling myself that just because I have what seems like the perfect opportunity this time doesn’t mean jack. Plenty of other women have had “the perfect cycle” only to have their hopes dashes with a negative beta result.

I really don’t know if I am emotionally equip to handle a negative result. I have no other cycle to look forward to after this one. I feel desperate. Ideas … crazy ideas … pop into my head. We have two vials of Man Jam (aka the Swim Team) left. Because I have triggered ovulation we should need just one if the count is good. Maybe we could squeeze one more cycle out of me if this is a bust, maybe I could bring the vial home and do an ici later tomorrow evening, maybe I should find some stranger with a great sperm count to have sex with tomorrow. OK, maybe that last one is not an option.

Desperate.

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Entry filed under: A Moment With Eeyore, Everyday.

Lest We Forget Monomania

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Who’s that girl?

Me: 36, army wife and mother of two boys. Hoping for "one more miracle". We have tried the adoption route for almost 7 years and have recently changed directions. We are now down this road travelled by many, IF Blvd. 3 diui's, one BFN, two BFP and two heatbreaking miscarriages later we are at a crossroad ... do we try just one more time? Come along for the ride, be sure to have your tables in the upright position and your seatbelt firmly secured ... it is sure to be a bumpy ride.

Menology

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