Happy Birthday to you … You belong in the Zoo

September 13, 2006 at 10:18 am Leave a comment

It’s raining this morning. Fall is in the air … you can smell it. The wood smoke drifting from a neighbours home, the crisp mornings with the tiniest hint of frost. I always loved autumn as a kid. I think it had more to do with my birthday coming then anything else.

Birthdays are always a big thing aren’t they? When you were are child your birthday seemed to be ages away and there was always one more milestone to reach. Turning 5 meant leaving the safety and security of home and getting on a huge, yellow bus that would take you to this enormous school. There you would meet new friends and every day bring home a sachel filled with arts and crafts. I loved school at this age and could not wait for Mondays to come so I could hop up on that bus.

The next big birthday for me was turning 10. Now I had not one, but two digits in my age! Only three more years until I would become a teenager! 13 was the begining of an extremely emotionally chaotic time in my life. Highschool loomed and hormones raged.

Next came 16, learners permit and I fell in love for the very first time. He was everything I could have wanted at 16 … a little daring and dangerous. He was also the first person I slept with. He broke my heart 3 months later.

18 years was an exciting one. I could legally drink alcohol in Quebec. I grew up in a small town on the Ontario/Quebec border and spent many weekends with friends heading over to the two bars the small Quebec towns had to offer.

19 years meant I no longer had to steal away to another province, I could stay in Ontario and get shit-faced while dancing to Manilli-Vanilli and George Michael atop speakers in Copperfields. 19 was the year I met my husband. He was and still is everything I could ever wish for.

After 19 the birthdays came a little more quickly. 22, newly married and pregnant for the first time. I’m now a mom at 23 and pregnant with my second child. 24, left for 6 months with a toddler and a newborn while my dh serves our country half a world away. 28 was a tough birthday for me, it meant one more step closer to the dreaded 30!

This year I’ll be 36 … it’s only a week and 3 days away. This year all I can think about is my 36 year old eggs and how their reserve is getting lower and lower. How much time do I have left to have another child? Two pregnancies and two miscarriages at 35 do not make me hopeful. We have an appointment with the RE on Tuesday to talk about me, my eggs and what our next step is going to be.

All I can think about is my soon-to-be 36 year old eggs.


Entry filed under: Idle Chatter.

A Change Will Do you Good … One Small Step

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Who’s that girl?

Me: 36, army wife and mother of two boys. Hoping for "one more miracle". We have tried the adoption route for almost 7 years and have recently changed directions. We are now down this road travelled by many, IF Blvd. 3 diui's, one BFN, two BFP and two heatbreaking miscarriages later we are at a crossroad ... do we try just one more time? Come along for the ride, be sure to have your tables in the upright position and your seatbelt firmly secured ... it is sure to be a bumpy ride.


September 2006
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