One Small Step

I crossed a threshold yesterday.

While on break at work I was chatting with a few gals from my floor about autumn, birthdays and my 36 year old eggs. One of the gals commented on her two miscarriages since starting her job and thought stress may be the reason. Ana (I girl I started my training with) became a bit pale. I asked her if everything was OK and she said that the comment made her nervous. She had not told anyone other then her partner that she is expecting (16 weeks) and has had several miscarriages before this. I felt her anxiety, I’ve been there myself, but what I also felt suprised me.

I felt happy for her. Genuine happiness for Ana because she has surpassed all the weeks of her previous miscarriages and her ultrasounds showed everything was looking perfect. I hugged and congratulated her without having that little voice inside me whining “Why not me?” It felt so good to feel happy for someone else instead of bitter. I can’t say it will happen again for another person, but for my friend Ana I have a smile, a hug and and look forward to seeing her big belly in the coming months.